3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
where does the pee come out of this thing
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
