omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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