We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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