Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
