my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
