Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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