I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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