best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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