i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize