sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...