there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision