Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift is so right about you.

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  (773): Taylor Swift is so right about you. http://tfl.nu/etcx
  Replies (9) Good night (805) Bad night (1032)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

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  (203): there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous. http://tfl.nu/bkt2
  Replies (20) Good night (2249) Bad night (695)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5759) Bad night (1412)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.

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  (401): she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch! (508): because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking. http://tfl.nu/qlq5
  Replies (20) Good night (9128) Bad night (1260)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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  (732): That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/7vfy
  Replies (10) Good night (9681) Bad night (1085)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning

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  (859): I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning http://tfl.nu/1f1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1069) Bad night (1577)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Where was your thought process?

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  Drowning in my hangover.

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  (778): Where was your thought process? (1-778): Drowning in my hangover. http://tfl.nu/hpz6
  Replies (1) Good night (1429) Bad night (623)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.

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  (937): She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend. http://tfl.nu/pjkv
  Replies (11) Good night (2237) Bad night (572)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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  (605): When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots http://tfl.nu/ud2p
  Replies (7) Good night (1293) Bad night (592)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm dying.

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  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (615) Bad night (872)
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  (925): View more from California

  The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

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  (925): The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves http://tfl.nu/ye71
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (1519)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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  (804): If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks. http://tfl.nu/t0d1
  Replies (25) Good night (714) Bad night (918)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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  (403): Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom http://tfl.nu/04zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1298) Bad night (386)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container

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  (850): My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container http://tfl.nu/jd1a
  Replies (10) Good night (607) Bad night (324)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.

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  (908): I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago. http://tfl.nu/reuq
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (257)

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