i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
