i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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