I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
