Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
