I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
