btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
