i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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