I wish I could punch you in the face.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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