Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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