why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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