Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize