Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
