Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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