I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Randomize
