I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
