If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
