whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
