Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
