I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
