i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
