I seem to have left my pride at pride
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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