Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my shit smells like andre
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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