Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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