I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
