So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
