Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
