ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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