can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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