whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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