hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize