maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
