You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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