Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
