So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
