He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
