Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize