take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
