But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
