Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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