is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
