There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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