The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
