Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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