So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
