Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
