kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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