oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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