they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
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He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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